Is that a Giant tracktor? TMNT Adventures #2

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures #2

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures #2

Okay, so this issue we get the second part of Return of the Shredder. So far I haven’t been overly impressed with the Turtles’ Archie Adventures, but lets see what happens.

We start out in Sunnydale.

Wait, what? Holy Crap Turtles! Watch out, it’s Buffy! Oh crap, no! She hates green kappa!

Ha. No. Sunnydale is actually a mental health facility where Baxter Stockman has been staying since he last encountered the Turtles in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures Miniseries #2. He’s seen here with various other crazies because, you guessed it, he thinks he was defeated by four turtles and a giant rat.

Shredder breaks him out with no problem. I mean none. Apparently wearing two knives on each wrist gives him the ability to rip through steal and concrete like it’s butter. How does he keep getting beaten?

Okay, at this point I have to comment on the art. I have never seen such lazy, half-assed artwork. Both this and the last issue were written and drawn by someone named Dave Garcia, and it’s my opinion that he should never work in the comics industry again. Seriously, it’s awful.

So Shredder tells Baxter to build him the ultimate rat catcher. Why do you need this when you’re apparently all powerful? Christ knows. Baxter takes inspiration from a tractor and builds… a tractor.

Genius inventor you say. Riiiiight.

April? Really?

April? Really?

We cut to April who is… sweet God, what’s wrong with your face? April O’Neil is supposed to be like a supermodel. She looks more reptilian than the damn turtles. No wonder they all had crushes on her.

Anyway, Baxter catches Splinter with no trouble. None. As in, it takes two panels. Does Shredder know where they live? And if so, why is defeating them so hard? Gas them in their sleep. Bomb them. Flood them. This isn’t rocket science.

While all this is going on, there are Ninja Turtle imposters running around. The Turtles set out to clear their reputation. Even though they don’t have a reputation, because nobody knows they exist.

I’m not even in the mood anymore. The Turtles beat up Baxter’s machine, Shredder runs away carrying Baxter under his arm, and that’s it.

It’s interesting. I’m realizing looking back that the miniseries covered what were basically the only good episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Okay, that’s a bit harsh. There were lots of good ones, but those were the best. It quickly went downhill, and that’s what this ongoing series begins with. The filler, the junk. I can’t believe this series lasted as long as it did.

1/10. Absolute swill. Shameful to the Turtles name. If you find a copy of this, burn it.

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